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May. 9th, 2007

I have a strange feeling that I'm never going to see some of these people ever again and it kind of frightens me...
Oh there's nothing more beautiful than being at a four-way stop sign and everyone knowing what to do and when to go.

I'm going flower shopping tomorrow and can't wait to work in my garden.

Apr. 27th, 2007

For some reason this struck a chord with me.  Today Nate was asking me about Brandon and things about him.  He asked me if he was a good person.  I don't know why but that made me see him differently...a bit.  Friend or not, I guess that was his way of looking out for me.  But all in all I love how my friends look out for me.  

I'm not ready to say good-bye yet.  As much as I didn't like this semester and most of the classes I took, a lot of good things happened.  I met a lot of good people and I let myself relax a bit with the academic-ness.  

I'm afraid that I'm going to lose touch with people,  I don't want to be one of those girls who is in a relationship and forgets that everyone else in her life exists.  I can blame distance and school work but is that enough?  Plus with this internship this summer, I'm going to be busy as ever (I think).    

Maybe I'm worrying for nothing and am thinking too far ahead, like I usually do.

~~~


Oh a completely random note:
I wonder how many Grand slams the O's have given up so far...
Oh 5-4...they're so close!

Ah!  Why have I been so damn sensitive lately?
I can deliver sarcasm but when it's dealt back to me I get all offensive.  Why is that?

Ah!  Upper 60's for the next ten days!  Love it!

And my boy got a win today :D

Today was a total waste of my time.
I got stood up by my doctor for the third time in a row.
I got stood up by my teacher who I do research with...although she did come in later to explain why she wasn't there.  So all is forgiven there
Of course once everyone found out that the VT shooter was Korean, I knew that dumb comments would be flying my way.  So my friend, Manminder, said to me "Looks like one of your cousins was shooting up at Virginia Tech."  
Why do people say things like that?  I don't understand.  Even if I was in a good mood, I'm not sure if I would've found that comment funny.  No one commented that the two shooters at Columbine were white.  Why does it matter?!  Usually I could let something like that roll off but not today and not now.  I feel as if it's always easier to make comments like that because we're easier to point out and aren't a major power.  
So bring on the comments and dumbass questions, bitches.

When he mentioned my cousin, I instantly thought of Kevin in Iraq and thought that something had happened.

So I'm really upset now and can't seem to stop tearing up.  I'm just frustrated at my doctors, my peers, and everyone's lack of empathy and common sense.  I also realized how scared I am for my cousin and just hope he comes back alive.  I don't know that statistics or the probablity of him coming home; all I know is is that he shouldn't even be over there doing the dirty work. 
I'm turning 21 tomorrow and I don't feel ready at all.
It's amazing how when you're younger, you never feel like you're getting older.  I never thought I'd actually get to 21, that I would be stuck in some weird teenage purgatory.
Aging...it happens, I guess.  But it's all in your mind, in the end.  I still feel 18.

I am happy I'll be spending it with some familiar people.  That's going to feel really good again.  I told Sarita that if she flew in to surprise me tomorrow that I would pee myself.  She asked me if I really would; I think I really would!!

College had kind of ruined the month of April for me.  I enjoy it up until the 13th, then it's crunch time.  I'm feeling pretty motivated at the moment, so I hope I can keep this momentum up.  I hope the best for everyone this month.

I got the schedule I want.  Only 12 credits.  But it's a blessing really.  I won't bore you with explaining why it is but I'm really happy with it.

I want the warm weather to get here.  I want to start gardening again and plant my daisies and climbing shell plant.  It's holding on by a thread.

Saw Grindhouse with Jess last week.  It was nuts!  Tarantino's film was a lot better than the first but what I really wanted to see was the machine gun leg.  That made the movie pretty worthwhile.  Am I weird?
I had a very vivid dream last night that Julie texted me to tell me that my friend Beth was dead.  I spent the rest of the dream so sad.  I woke up and thought it was real.  I'm tempted to to text Beth just to see if she really is alive or not.

Brandon threw out the idea awhile ago that while he's studying abroad in London next semester, I should come out and visit him.  I threw out the idea to my parents, thinking I'd get laughed at, but they were actually pretty receptive to it.  I've always wanted to go to London and this should make it that much more interesting.  I'd have to pay my way but that doesn't suprise me.  

I also have to look up prices for a round trip to Chicago!  I want to visit Sarita in South Bend and see what it's like out there.

I haven't been able to sit still all day.  I think I'm going to go work out or something to take the edge off (sounds like I'm doing drugs).  But today was fairly uneventful.  
Endured being yelled at by my sister for things that I cannot control.  Bitch...she needs to get a life.  She's getting her gall bladder out on Friday and so she's using that as an excuse for everything, espcially for not doing anything.  She's going in around 7 am.  I'm going to be feeling very lonely that morning since no one will be around on the birthday morning.  But I'm glad that she's not going to the game that night; I would have had to endure about 5 hours and Mike bickering and crap and that really would've ruined my night and probably everyone elses.
*I officially received the Horticulture internship at the Aquarium!

*I also was accepted to do biology research at an off-campus lab next semester!

*My cousin is being shipped to Iraq on Sunday.  Easter of all days.  I don't like the word "shipped'; it makes him sound like a package or a piece of machinery...

Well things don't seem different...all too different.  I don't feel smothered; in fact, i feel happy and content with what i have.  

I've been trying to figure out one friendship/annoyance I have with someone.  I can't figure out whether or not I should try to remain a friend or try to sever ties with him.  Well the latter will be hard since I have FIVE CLASSES WITH HIM AND HE'S MY LAB PARTNER IN ONE OF THEM!  I have never had five classes with one person in my college experience...i thought it wasn't possible.  I worry about him, but I realized that I'm concerned about him in a strictly friendly way.  The thought of being anything with him beyond what we are makes me laugh.  We're similar but very different at the same time; but I guess that's how a lot of, if not all, my friendships are.  He says he's probably going to be transfering back to north carolina next year.  And that's fine with me; I know he's not happy here anyway.  So whether a thorn in my side or someone who makes me laugh, all in all, I'm kind of glad I met him.

I feel like I have a lot of work to do and only a month to do it all.  I forget how fast a month can go by.
  My group for philosophy keeps wanting to switch topics for our ethics project.  Does anyone think the church sexual abuse scandal is too old to bring up?

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